What If Rest Isn’t the Reward?

I’ve noticed something about myself lately. I can be tired, really tired and yet, instead of resting, I’ll often find something else to do. There’s always something. The kitchen needs tidying. There’s washing to put away. An email to answer. Something I’ve remembered that I really should get done. And sometimes I’ll finally sit down with a tea, only to find that my mind is still racing through the list of things I haven’t done.

I’m resting, but I’m not really resting. I wonder how many of us do this. We tell ourselves we’ll rest when everything is done. But actually everything is never done, is it? There is always something that needs doing, another email, another job, someone who needs something.

What if rest isn’t something we earn? What if it’s actually something we need along the way?

We’re not very good at stopping

We’ve become incredibly good at pushing through. We keep going when we’re tired, and when we’re stressed. We keep going because there are things that need to be done. Sometimes we even feel a little guilty when we stop. The voice in my head says:

There’s more to do…

You should be doing something.

You haven’t finished that …..

The strange thing is, the more exhausted we become, the harder it can actually be to do the things that help us recover. This is sometimes called the recovery paradox. When we most need to slow down, we can find it hardest to slow down.

We might be too tired to go for a walk. Too mentally busy to sit quietly. Too overwhelmed to work out what would actually help.  So we keep going. Eventually our body has had enough.

Maybe rest doesn’t have to be a big thing

I like this idea because rest doesn’t necessarily mean taking a week off, going away somewhere beautiful or spending an entire Sunday in bed. Sometimes it can be ten minutes. Ten minutes sitting outside with a coffee.

A short walk; Listening to a song; Sitting in the sunshine; Reading a few pages of a book….Doing absolutely nothing. It can be very ordinary.

I think that’s important because sometimes we make rest another thing we have to do properly.

We need the perfect routine.The perfect meditation. The perfect self-care activity. Suddenly even resting has become another item on the list. Maybe it doesn’t need to be that complicated.

Your brain needs some downtime too. When we stop concentrating on a particular task, our brain doesn’t simply switch off.

There is a whole network in the brain that becomes more active during periods of rest and daydreaming. This downtime can help us process information, make connections and consolidate memories.

Which might explain why some of our best ideas arrive when we aren’t trying so hard to have them.

You know that thing where you’ve been worrying about something all morning and then you go for a shower or a walk and suddenly think: Oh. I know what I need to do. Sometimes stepping away gives our brain the space to work things out.

We don’t always need to push harder. Sometimes we need to step back. And maybe we don’t need to go anywhere

I also love the idea of simply being where we are. There’s a beautiful teaching from Thich Nhat Hanh about washing the dishes.

Not washing the dishes while thinking about what you need to do next. Not washing them while mentally going over yesterday’s conversation. Not washing them while scrolling through your phone. Just washing the dishes. Feeling the warm water. Holding the plate. Being there.

It sounds simple but I think there’s something quite powerful about it because how often are we physically in one place while our minds are somewhere completely different?

Our body is sitting at the kitchen table, our mind is already at tomorrow.

Our body is walking along the beach, our mind is worrying about next week.

Perhaps sometimes rest isn’t about adding something else into our day. Perhaps it’s about actually being present for the thing we’re already doing.

So what would happen if you stopped waiting? What if you didn’t wait until everything was finished? What if you didn’t wait until you were exhausted? What if you gave yourself permission to stop before you absolutely needed to?

Maybe sit in the garden for ten minutes. Make yourself a coffee and actually drink it while it’s hot. Go for a walk without turning it into exercise. Put your phone away. Look out the window. Take a few slow breaths.  Or just sit.

And if that little voice says, You should be doing something… perhaps you could gently answer:

I am, I’m resting. Because rest isn’t laziness. It isn’t wasted time. It isn’t something we have to earn by being productive enough.

Rest is part of how we keep going. And perhaps, sometimes, the most productive thing we can do…is stop.