Finding Your Way Back After Abuse
As a therapist on the Mid North Coast, I see many people navigating big life challenges such as grief and loss, anxiety, relationship struggles, and the complex process of rebuilding after leaving an abusive relationship.
There’s often a common thread: a longing to feel safe, understood, and more connected both to others and to themselves. Many women I work with have spent years people pleasing or “fawning” to keep the peace, a survival strategy born from earlier trauma (Hughes & Baylin, 2012).
Often, they tell me, “I just want to feel like me again. I want a better life.”
The effects of abuse can run deep. When we grow up in unsafe or unpredictable homes, our brains and bodies adapt to constant stress. This is sometimes called developmental trauma, and it can affect our nervous system, our ability to feel safe in relationships, and even the way we see ourselves (Thomason & Marusak, 2016).
If those early years were filled with fear, criticism, or neglect, we may struggle later with managing emotions, trusting others, or believing we are worthy of love. Sometimes, without even realising it, we repeat the same relationship patterns we learned as children (Winnette & Baylin, 2017).
That’s why we focus on safety first. We work at your pace, within your window of tolerance, so healing feels manageable and not overwhelming. Using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and trauma informed care, we explore attachment patterns, gently reprocess painful experiences, and build new, healthier ways of relating.
Therapy is not just about “talking through” the past. It is about creating new experiences now that help your nervous system settle, strengthen your sense of self, and open the door to secure, dependable connections (van der Kolk, 2014).
We have both male and female counsellors, University qualified with additional training in trauma, mindfulness, Emotionally Focused Therapy and ACT Therapy, and Robin is an approved NSW Victim Services Counsellor. Whether you have been out of the relationship for months or years, we would love to help you heal, grow, and rediscover the real you.
If you are ready to take the next step, we are here to walk it with you.
References
Hughes, D. A., & Baylin, J. (2012). Brain-based parenting: The neuroscience of caregiving for healthy attachment. W. W. Norton & Company.
Thomason, M. E., & Marusak, H. A. (2016). Toward understanding the impact of trauma on the early developing human brain. Neuroscience, 342, 55–67. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuroscience.2016.02.022
van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.
Winnette, P., & Baylin, J. (2017). Children, adults and therapeutic change: Who are the clients with unresolved developmental trauma? In The neuroscience of attachment. W. W. Norton & Company.